just got back from the city of pines. woozy and still sleepy, i went straight to the office to get some rest and wait for the official eight o'clock start of the working day.
immediately after putting down my things, i called up the house. nanay answered, and was softly surprised that i wasn't going home. she told me, "sabi ng tatay mo, baka may inuuwian ka ng babae (your father said it seems that you're already living with a woman)."
i laughed it off. i am, indeed, old enough to get married and leave the house, but no. well, for one thing, i haven't decided to live on my own due to financial constraints. and it pains me very much to leave my oh so soft bed.
i told her, i'm going home tonight, right after work. i am going to be very busy the whole day with a newspaper to lay-out, rehearsals to attend, and books to finish (lay-outing, too).
do i love this life? yes. toxic and full. left and right issues.
why do i love this life? because i have control. one thing i fear most is to lose control--suddenly, everything's in a quandary, problems suddenly popping out of nowhere, left and right, above and below.
and the life i am living is a very precarious life. no social security, no insurance, nothing to save my ass from kingdom come.
oh, the advantages of being single. yes.