Monday, August 08, 2005

I am Second

I have never thought of myself as the first child. Somehow, I exhibit the characteristics attributed to "second" kids, the middle child... the rebellious one.

Here she is, Cheryl B. Escanlar, graduating with honors in kindergarten. Ain't that cute? That's me there, beside her -- she clutching my hand, me unsure of myself.

Everytime I go to the province, I make it a point to visit her grave, alone... so I can weep out loud, weep severely, weep with all of my soul.

She's our family's angel. She had to leave us early, and to this day, I don't know why. Was it our poverty that prevented her from surviving her cancer of the colon?

I don't know. I don't even want to think about it. All I know is that I've lost a very dear sister, my elder sister... though I wasn't able to know her... I know I know her.

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