10:45 PM 11/8/04
i am really having a hard time with all the things i am getting myself mixed up with.
and i will not say in spite of everything, because i am not in spite of everything--i love everything that gives me the toxicity i crave for.
out of focus, they'd say. i should get my life on the line. i should toe the line. duh! this is the life i am living, this is the journey i am taking, this is the path i've chosen.
my eyes are indeed on the road, but i look ahead most of the time.
i feel good about myself, really. the months have been one hell of a rollercoaster ride. heard somewhere, "love makes one crazy." and when i think about it, yeah, love makes us so damn crazy.
today, i've finished setting up the PC i'd be using to lay-out my grand dream--a magazine i can call, somehow, my own. and by evening, i was able to churn out three ads.
ah, the speed of an AMD Athlon!
and the benign reliability of Windows 98SE!
it's not the size of the chip, baby, but the motion of the operator (he he he... bad rhyme!).
for the next two weeks, i shall drive myself crazy to put out a magazine by the first of december.
just tonight, we drove ourselves nuts just thinking about the cover. after having dinner at a nearby carinderia, we headed off to bigskymind for a round of drinks. we were planning to brainstorm the cover. alas! it is monday, so the place is closed. we sat nearby, and lit cigarettes for the thinking phase.
it's the maiden issue, says ayi, so we should talk about the magazine. i say, the editorial shall do that. erwin says ayi's idea's cliche. i say, what about a decaying man with a headset on? that's gross, they chorus.
the insanity of the whole venture!!!
finally, we agreed on three cover ideas--the long table, the drummer girl, and the set of plates. ae will do the comps, and hopefully, by tomorrow i'll see the designs.
right now, i am at the printing press. most probably, i'll spend the whole night laying-out two sections of a history book. i'll take three hours of sleep by morning, then head off to sampaloc to put more software into the lay-out PC (which we shall call alpha PC, for arbitrary purposes).
i need to meet the magazine staff by wednesday to pump more articles from them. and still, i need to somehow make a decision whether i can make a follow-up to the article i submitted to a website i am, sort of, writing for. by thursday, i must pressure the college paper staff to churn out stuff for me to lay-out if ever they want to have an issue released by monday next week.
ha ha ha!!! ronald's grand to-do list. as if i'll be able to do all those things...
but that's the plan. the great plan.