I have only two hours worth of sleep in me. Since your last text message of 7pm thursday, i have been so unsettled. I know nothing... just a promise that you would text me later that night. I went to baguio with a very bothered consciousness that prevented me from sleeping and eating--usual things that occur whenever i do not know where you are and how you are. right now, i am here back in manila, back at work, still very unsettled and unsure of how tomorrow will come, or if it'll come at all.
i am so tired of being alone. i want to settle down and keep my peace. but how can i? do i need to go back to my very restless life, chasing ghosts in the midst of darkness?
you are my soul. you are the very reason for my existence. the years have taught me that.
but if i have to accept this fate, of you gone and silent for the rest of my life, then so be it, as past years have shown.
however, i know that i'll always search for you, that i'll always hunger for your presence at my side, that all the nights will be sleepless nights and all the days will be empty days bereft of full happiness, bereft of completion.
where art thou, my soul?
still, i thank you. you have pulled out the best that i can be, in such a short span of days and months tied together in ecstasy. no one can do that, no one but you.
i thank you, for letting me know that nirvana is possible in this life.
please, let me know how you are. i miss you very much...